Dude, where's my half-billion dollar arms contract?

You have got to read this front page story in the NY Times today.  This just borders on farce, if it wasn't the Bush administration, I wouldn't believe that it was true... but sadly, it is only too true.  I can tell you, the Joseph Heller's of the future will have no shortage of material to write the 21st century Catch-22...

22-year old war profiteer

How does a 22 year-old get a $300 million defense contract to supply arms to the Afghan army? First, make sure you're not zinged with a felony when police find your fake ID. Then hire a licensed masseur to be your VP. Find some shady arms dealers, make the lowest bid and voila -- you're in business with the Bush administration.

As the Times found out, AEY fulfilled that contract by dealing with a variety of shady arms dealers (one Czech, one Swiss) to get their hands on ammo stockpiles in the old Eastern bloc. And as far as ensuring the quality of the munitions? Here's how it went in Albania:

Albania offered to sell tens of millions of cartridges manufactured as long ago as 1950. For tests, a 25-year-old AEY representative was given 1,000 cartridges to fire, according to Ylli Pinari, the director of the arms export agency at the time of the sale.

No ballistic performance was recorded, he said. The rounds were fired by hand.

Not surprisingly, the Afghan army has been unhappy with the product. AEY shipped the decades-old ammo in cardboard boxes -- apparently to save money on shipping charges. And the Times reports that the boxes arrived in Afghanistan spilling out of the boxes, "revealing ammunition manufactured in China in 1966." It's illegal to deal in Chinese arms.

[T]he company has provided ammunition that is more than 40 years old and in decomposing packaging, according to an examination of the munitions by The New York Times and interviews with American and Afghan officials. Much of the ammunition comes from the aging stockpiles of the old Communist bloc, including stockpiles that the State Department and NATO have determined to be unreliable and obsolete, and have spent millions of dollars to have destroyed.

It just keeps getting better though... the story goes into the dude's the 22 year-old CEO's personal life, and it is just insane.  He was under 21 when he started defense contracting, and was going out with a fake ID, and was caught.  He only avoided a felony charge for fraud by doing a diversion program.  It should be noted that the felony conviction would have made him ineligible to contract with the Defense department.  He was also involved in numerous domestic disputes with various girlfriends which got the police called on him, including stalking, and physical violence.  Wow, an incompetent asshole, sounds like a good fit for the Bushies!